Fast X Has the Fast and the Furious franchise jumped the shark? I know it’s a silly thing to say, because the whole franchise is a shark jump, but here, in its 10th iteration, the franchise seems to be double, tripling, octupleting down on its concepts and setups. But let’s back up a second and look at the whole thing. Fast X sets up the last trilogy of the series, meaning there’s going to be a Fast XI and...
Aquaman The Lost Kingdom You gotta give it up for Jason Momoa who’s made a career for himself being the handsome knucklehead. Also, you gotta give it up for him for bringing hope to the fledgling DC Snyderverse with Aquaman. Snyder’s run wasn’t exactly filled with highlights, but some of the movies in his run at least were successful. I don’t know how much I liked the first Aquaman, but I remember there being some great action sequence. But,...
Barbie Hey Barbie, you gotta help me out here, OK? Look, I love Greta Gerwig. There was no chance in hell I was going to see Barbie if it weren’t for Gerwig’s involvement. The fandom behind the movie was dumb. It’s full of stunt casting and I knew it was going to be all hype. BUT… it’s Greta, you know? Weren’t we all shocked this became suck a smash hit? Sure, Margot Robbie reportedly predicted it, but who cares...
Star Trek: Strange New WorldsSeason 2 Star Trek, what am I supposed to do with you? Should I just give up on you altogether? Is there anyone on your production team that knows what they’re doing? Strange New Worlds was supposed to be the saving grace of the show. It’s not their flagship, mind you. That one is unsalvageable, which is going to make it last that much more fun to watch. Strange New Worlds was different than what #nutrek...
National Lampoon’s Vacation Hey, there’s a lesson I want to teach you. Get close. You’re listening? Always save your Word documents. Yes, because we’re always depending on our computers to autosave them, or we don’t think they’ll automatically reboot and lose your file, or you’re convinced there’s a way of recovering your files, or you yourself accidentally rebooted your computer forgetting you had an unsaved file. Why did you do that? Because clicking “save as” is SUCH a PAIN...
The Flash Hey, Warner Brothers? What do you think you’re doing, exactly? I know you’ve been trying to be Marvel and desperately throwing your movies to the wall and seeing what sticks. Some of these movies have been successful, like Wonder Woman, and Aquaman, but I think you should know we’ve all given up on you. I think you’ve given up on yourself too, courting James Gunn to overhaul your entire franchise. Now, I’ve always stuck by you if...
Superman I-IV5-Film Collection Boy did we forget the giant favor the Superman movies did for us in the 70s. The 70s! Can you believe that? Superhero movies had a life before they became the unstoppable monster they are now (even though they are showing signs of weakness as of late). Sure, you can say Mask of Zorro or movies like that were superhero movies, but not as we know them today. Superman was the grand daddy of them all. At...
Rocky: The Knockout Collection Growing up I was both a Schwarzenegger and Stallone fan. Maybe more a Schwarzenegger fan because he seemed tough, scary, and a lovable goof. Of course I loved Stallone in Rocky, Judge Dredd, and Demolition Man, but I think at the time I was most tuned into movies, Schwarzenegger was making the more bonkers stuff. Now, as a grown-up, I’ve learnt to appreciate Stallone more. He’s kind of in a class all by himself,...
Shazam! Fury of the Gods Every now and then a movie comes along that really bums me out. I hope this bummer ends with Shazam! Fury of the Gods. Normally, I would avoid these kinds of movies, but the first one was kinda good, you know? How in God(s)’(s) name could they mess up the sequel to such an extent? Let’s just get down to business, OK? Shazam! Fury of the Gods falls short in just about every aspect,...
E.T.: The Extra-Terrestrial Let’s go back to a time when kids’ movies would scare the living daylights out of you. Let’s talk about ET. This is a movie I remember seeing once as a little kid and don’t really think about much. Sure, it’s cherished by a select few, but those are also the people who won’t stop talking about Sandlot and have a shuffle truffle tattoo on their arm. How are you supposed to take these overgrown infants...