Amadeus: Theatrical Cut Remember that movie Last Action Hero? If you don’t know what I’m talking about, you should check it out. It’s a smart action movie parodying the big action/comedy movies of the 80s and 90s. Some say Last Action Hero also killed that genre of movies, but they’re wrong. Just look at the Fast & Furious franchise. There will always be a market for big dumb movies. But anyway, I loved Last Action Hero when I saw...
The Terminator40th Anniversary I remember seeing Terminator as a kid and being terrified of it. I think I wasn’t even ten, yet. To be honest, I’m surprised I remember so much about it. The one thing that stuck with me, for sure, is how terrifying Arnold Schwarzenegger looked in the movie. He was the scariest thing in the world to me, and I kept that feeling with me all these years. Later when I saw T2, I was convinced...
Furiosa: A Mad Max Saga We can all agree that Mad Max Fury Road was a pleasant surprise, right? It was good, some of us thought I’d be great, some of us thought it actually WAS great, and some people consider it one of the greatest movies of the past 10 or 20 years. I’m cool with that. I think the first 2 Mad Maxes are SUPER overrated, anyhow, and I don’t care who knows it. But, there’s a...
Wicked Look, there is probably no worse type of culture than musical theatre. It’s garish, gaudy, awkward and just plain unnecessary. We all know a musical nut. Are they ever the cool person in the group? Right? Enough said. I know Wicked is a cultural phenomenon, but I couldn’t care less. I don’t dislike musicals, I just think most of them are terrible. I love Rocky Horror and Spinal Tap (yes, it’s a musical, you philistines). I never watched...
North By Northwest I’ve watched a lot of Hitchcock and Cary Grant movies, and maybe, just maybe, North by Northwest is the best execution of the two. It might be the best Grant or Hitchcock movie period! Look, Notorious is ridiculously overrated and Birds might just be ridiculous. The great thing about North by Northwest is that it strikes a perfect balance of mystery, suspense, humor, and romance. Thornhill is a perfect character in an almost Lebowski-style fashion: an...
Twisters Look, I understand a popcorn movie can only do so much, but you gotta give me something to work with, OK? You gotta give me SOMETHING interesting or new to keep me invested in the plot or the characters or ANYTHING, for that matter. Instead, Twisters is just a middling piece of mediocrity that spins around and around instead of going anywhere. Remember in the 90s when everyone had Twister FEVER? Well, according to Twisters it’s still going...
Joker: Folie a Deux Does anyone with brains actually like the first Joker movie? I remember watching it, being compelled by Juaquin Phoenix’s performance but just found the whole thing to be equal parts awkward and inelegant. It’s basically a movie about a guy, down on his luck, who snaps and takes matters into his own hands by resorting to violence. It’s a reflection on the audience on whether Joker’s acts were misguided or admirable. I don’t know if Todd...
Watchmen: Chapter 1 Sure, Alan Moore is controversial but he’s also right most of the time. Even the worst Alan Moore work is kind of good, when you think about it. Can you blame him for wanting to have SOME sort of ownership over his comics? He only turned against the adaptations of his work once it became obvious that they would never remain true to their source material. His books still get made into movies, and he’s...
Rocky: Ultimate Knockout Collection Growing up I was both a Schwarzenegger and Stallone fan. Maybe more a Schwarzenegger fan because he seemed tough, scary, and a lovable goof. Of course I loved Stallone in Rocky, Judge Dredd, and Demolition Man, but I think at the time I was most tuned into movies, Schwarzenegger was making the more bonkers stuff. Now, as a grown-up, I’ve learnt to appreciate Stallone more. He’s kind of in a class all by himself,...
The Fall Guy What the hell happened with this movie? It flopped colossally and no one knows why. Was it marketed incorrectly? That seems to be the only explanation, because The Fall Guy looked so dumb that it somehow elevated the collective consciousness. But, sometimes, Rotten Tomatoes actually does what it’s supposed to, and a movie gets a second chance. Is Fall Guy a cult classic now? I’m not sure. Boy, am I rambling. Look, I wasn’t even going to...