Twisters
[4K/Digital Download]
Look, I understand a popcorn movie can only do so much, but you gotta give me something to work with, OK? You gotta give me SOMETHING interesting or new to keep me invested in the plot or the characters or ANYTHING, for that matter. Instead, Twisters is just a middling piece of mediocrity that spins around and around instead of going anywhere.
Remember in the 90s when everyone had Twister FEVER? Well, according to Twisters it’s still going on. These Tornado chasers are going VIRAL! They’re all about following Twisters and being the best at putting themselves in danger in order to make us all dumber in the process. But wait, there’s more!
There are nerds and clowns in this world. Did you know that they need each other? They sure do. The nerds have the tech and the brains, but they got no heart. When is science going to learn that if you think too much you’re going to hurt people and hurt yourself in the process? These clowns? They’re part of the real America: the part that looks out for its own and distributes Doritos to towns that have been devastated by these horrible tragedies. The scientists? They’re part of the deep state and ain’t got their heads screwed on right. That’s why they don’t understand their own technology. If only I has a nickel!
And the government? Don’t get me started on them. They’re just trying to make a buck off the backs of good, hard-working southerners who want to barbecue and drink sweet tea. When will they learn to stop treadin’ on them? Thankfully, we have Tyler Owens, a man of the people and Jason Aldeen superfan to make sense of this crazy world we’re living in. He’s a hunk. Not like Kate Carter who doesn’t even know how to spell BBQ.
Am I crazy that the big reveal should have been that Helen Hunt is Kate’s mom? What a waste!
