Fast X
[4K/Digital Download]
Has the Fast and the Furious franchise jumped the shark? I know it’s a silly thing to say, because the whole franchise is a shark jump, but here, in its 10th iteration, the franchise seems to be double, tripling, octupleting down on its concepts and setups. But let’s back up a second and look at the whole thing.
Fast X sets up the last trilogy of the series, meaning there’s going to be a Fast XI and Fast Twelve (one would think it’ll be a Jesus thing with Dom as Jesus and Twelve apostles, or whatever). Vin Diesel thinks he can do this like Lord of the Rings. The setup is that, in Fast Five, Dante the son of the main bad guy watched his dad die and now has it in for Dom. This guy is a total maniac who has been watching Dom and the team for 10 years and knows and understands their every move. His main drive is to rob Dom of the thing he took from him, which is his family. It’s what Dom cares about most, so you know, dum dum duuuuuum! Got it? Good.
But, of course, there’s a flaw here. In fact, Fast X is littered with logic flaws. The first, of course, being that Dom did not kill his dad, but the Rock (Hobbes) did. So, how did this guy, who is the most careful observant, miss this? And that’s just a symptom of how sloppy this script is. It was written for people who don’t want to pay attention. It relies on tropes to make the audience do the work. For example, what is “the agency” exactly? Is it government funded? Is it the government? Who runs it? No one knows. Maybe Brie Larson does? By the way, someone tell Brie Larson she is making an absolute fool of herself in this franchise. If she’s not careful, she’s going to end up like Charlese Theron. Or maybe she already has? Dante is supposed to be so psychopathic, he’s borderline a genius, much like the Joker. That’s what the movie wants the dumb audience to think. But, instead, he’s kind of just a dumb lovable oaf (and Kudos to Momoa, who is the only thing fun and interesting in this whole movie), who no one in a million years could believe would hatch up a scheme like this. And, how is everyone getting around the world so quickly and easily if they’re wanted by the world’s most powerful agency? Why did we have to see Han eat those pot brownies? Why do I have to look at Pete Davidson’s stupid face? Do the filmmakers think the audience is that dumb? Am I dumb now for watching this movie? Oh, dear…
Fast X is baffling in its scope, and truly a wonder for how it can make a 2.5 hour movie with a script basically written by AI. But it did it. Wow. But would it have killed you to name this movie Fast Ten… Your Seatbelts?
