Two Things At Once – 002

Friday, 15 June 2012

Imagine an eighteen-year-old and a thirty-three-year-old got in a ring to fight. Well, we’re about to do it in a digital style for two people who have put out albums in June 2012. Ladyhawke’s (Phillipa Margaret "Pip" Brown) second album Anxiety which came out June 4th is going up against Justin Bieber’s Believe (due out on June 19th). Welcome to the Dirty Digital Pit. Before we get to the albums, lets stand the fighters next to each other.

Pip: Female, New Zealander, borne of two musicians in 1979, can rock multiple instruments, has tattoos, is diagnosed with Asperger syndrome, and was influenced by The Beatles, David Bowie, Joan Jett, Blur, The Zombies and much more.

Bieber: Male, Canadian, born and raised by a single mother, self-taught multiple instruments, first recording was Ne-Yo’s So Sick. Bieber is the second most followed individual on Twitter, and has won or been nominated for titles at the American Music Awards, BET Awards, Billboard Music Awards, CMT Music Awards, Georgia Music Hall of Fame Awards, Grammy Awards, Juno Awards, MTV Video Music Brazil, MTV Europe Music Awards, MTV Movie Awards, Nickelodeon Kids’ Choice Awards, O Music Awards, People’s Choice Awards, Teen Choice Awards, Virgin Media Music Awards and many, many more.

So here we are. I’m placing an award-winning young male against a 33-year-old female who overcame a mental disability to put out two international selling albums. Let’s pull out the songs and see if they bring us what we need. The first round of this battle is strictly based on lyrics.

Round 1:
Justin Bieber – Believe
Track Name – One-line description. (One-word description)
1. “All Around The World” ft. Ludacris – People around the world want to be loved, and we do too. (Love)
2. “Boyfriend” – I want to be your boyfriend (Love)
3. “As Long As You Love Me” ft. Big Sean – All I need is your love. (Love)
4. “Take You” – It doesn’t matter, I can take you. (Love)
5. “Right Here” ft. Drake – I’m right here for you. (Love)

6. “Catching Feelings” – Forget everything, and let’s be together. (Love)

7. “Fall” – There’s a broken girl I love. (Love)

8. “Die In Your Arms” – You hurt me, but I want to love you still. (Love)

9. “Thought Of You” – I’m in love with the thought of you. (Love)

10. “Beauty And A Beat” ft. Nicki Minaj – I love beautiful women and music. (Love)

11. “One Love” – All I need is one love. (Love)

12. “Be Alright” – You’re going through some bad times; everything’s going to be all right, I love you. (Love).
13. “Believe” – I would not have made it without you. (Love)

14. “Out Of Town Girl” – A song that’s about an out of town girl. (What?)

15. “She Don't Like The Lights” – My girl and I are famous, and people take pictures of us; life is hard. (Fame). 

16. “Maria” – I have a super-stalker (Fame)
Topics: 3 (Love, What?, Fame)
Track Count: 16
Total Score: 19

Ladyhawke – Anxiety:
Track Name – One-line description. (One-word description)
1. “Girl Like Me” – You left me for someone like me; you’re an idiot. (Revenge)
2. “Sunday Drive” – Don’t leave me. (Love)
3. “Black White & Blue” – Life is shit, but that’s how it was built, so hold your own. (Strength)
4. “Vaccine” – I am either dreaming, or the guy sleeping with me is an idiot. (What?)
5. “Blue Eyes” – You fucked up, I know it, you know it, and you’re on your own now. (Perception)
6. “Vanity” – I love me, I’m super fucked up; you help a little. (Women)
7. “The Quick & the Dead” – Be confident if you get mugged. (Uncategorized)*
8. “Anxiety” – I’m broken, take medication and will fight it all to enjoy life. (Strength)
9. “Cellophane” – We have filters of love over our eyes. (Love)
10. “Gone Gone Gone” – I really, really loved you and now you’re gone. (Heartbreak)
(Hidden Track) – You’re wild to me, just like stormy weather. (Descriptive)
Topics: 8 (Revenge, Love, Strength, What?, Women, Uncategorized, Heartbreak, Descriptive)
Track Count: 11
Total Score: 19

Okay, now let’s check off if we can just let these albums go in the each situation we are more likely to listen to music. We will hit them with a best of 10 rating and explanation:

1. The House Party – 8/10 – Hell yes I’ll bump this album, but if you’re at a dude fest, expect a fight. If everyone’s over thirty and you’re a dude playing this album, I’m making the assumption that there are only dudes in your house.
2. The Dance Club – 10/10 – The whole album kills it here.
3. The Regular Bar – 6/10 – It’s too upbeat. Pop music belongs where people “move”
4. The Cardio Workout – 7/10 – I don’t really see myself keeping pace to all of these tracks.
5. The Weight-Lifting Workout – 1/10 – Ugh, maybe? I don’t see it.
6. The Drive to Work – 5/10 – If you’re a dude, your windows have to be up, or have a rainbow sticker. If you’re a girl, it’s perfect.
7. You Got Dumped – 0/10 – If you just broke up with someone and are listening to this, you have to move on. Put the ice cream down.
8. The Smitten Feeling – 10/10 – Kills it. This album is pure love.
Total Score: 47/80


1. The House Party – 9/10 – You get props for playing the person no one knows. Always.
2. The Dance Club – 2/10 – I wouldn’t mind doing the shuffle to “Blue Eyes.”
3. The Regular Bar – 6/10 – I could eat a burger to the whole album. Plus when the conversation get’s boring I may be inclined to Shazam for lyrics.
4. The Cardio Workout – 8/10 – You’ll be wondering what the hell she’s talking about on some tracks, and then BAM you’re done with your workout. Awesome.
5. The Weight-Lifting Workout – 0/10 – Nope. I can’t see this happening. I need rage. This is just… bitterness with a dash of happy.
6. The Drive to Work – 8/10 – You might end up going to work a little bitter.
7. You Got Dumped – 10/10 – Songs to help you move on, songs you can relate too? Kills it.
8. The Smitten Feeling – 4/10 – There’s a little love in here, but this album is about “you” not “us.”
Total Score: 47/80

Now let’s take my own judging for each album review from a thirty-thousand-foot view. Justin’s Believe really does hit a 10/10 in a few categories, but it lacks musical and lyrical creativity that Ladyhawke delivers with vigor. Also, I am a firm believer that your entire life should be able to have a theme song. When an artist puts out an album, I expect it to fill a portion of my life that might not have been “nail on head.” Ladyhawke’s Anxiety definitely brings it, but they are so unique it has a high risk associated with it. There may be only a few people the can relate with such clear and specific tracks. Bieber, on the other hand, delivers love Vis-à-vis an airplane dropping water over a forest fire of loveless trees. That said, drowning in one feeling is only suited for the young and non-bitter youth of the world. The rest of the world who has grown up see right past the simple lyrics and simple approach to the album overall. I wouldn’t have called it Believe, I would have called it Love but the Beatles already did that.

What’s your takeaway from this? Two things:

1. Buy both albums.
2. A lady from New Zealand with Asperger syndrome can deliver as much entertainment as a lyrically-uncomplicated, falsetto-singing eighteen-year-old.

*I honestly listened to this song twenty times, and read the lyrics thirty times. This is just my best guess. It’s a fun song, but I don’t have the same certainty that I do with every single other track in this review. 



Justin Bieber's Believe will be released on June 19, 2012 via Island Records/Universal. Pre-order it here on Amazon .

Ladyhawke's Anxiety is out now on Casablanca/Universal. Buy it here on Amazon .

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