Missy Higgins – [Album]

Friday, 20 July 2012

How do we fall in love with a famous person (an actor, a musician, any kind of celebrity)? There are many people walking this planet who have an undying adoration for someone that, for the most part, could be completely made up or already dead. Dare I try and fall in love with someone with whom I’ll never meet? Let’s do it! Who should I pick? My simple requirements are dark hair and light skin. My editor suggested that I try this singer I had never heard of before. Who? Missy Higgins? What kind of a fucking name is that? Is she an Australian or something? No shit. An Aussie? Love it. Meets my requirements? Bang bang. Let’s fall in love with her through her new album: The Ol’ Razzle Dazzle.

Hi Missy!

So, your real name is Melissa Morrison Higgins. Is Higgins your husband's last name and your dad’s first Van? Ha! I’m awesome. I know, it’s not a great joke for the two of us who are turning thirty next year. 1983 gave us two amazing people me and you, but in 2012 you started your album with “Set Me on Fire.”

I can see you’re on a spiritual side just like me. Your simple sounds and flowing lyrics remind me of Radiohead and Jack Johnson, yet your words carry this touch of darkness that I can just put on repeat, forever. Can we make out right now? Because anyone who says, “I got a rock between my heart and my mouth” is sexy as hell to me. Challenge me with your heart Missy, and you’ll win me. What else do you have?

"Hello Hello” I’m right here with you. But it seems by your words that someone had the absurd idea of splitting on you without letting you put up the fight. Boy I have been here many times myself. I love it when you make songs I relate to. I’ll be honest though, you had me at your smooth intro and perked the brow of my left eye when you lightly shouted the name of the song. That’s right. You had me at hello, and I don’t think I’ll ever let you go.  How are we only two songs into this record (your third) and already displaying so much soul? The long break between your last full-length album and this one really did you well. I don’t know a single trait you could have to make me walk away at this point, but I’ve still got a wall up. Fight it for me Missy.

I’m an open book. Ask me anything. What’s that? You are too? “Unashamed Desire” tells me that you’ve, “got nothing to hide.” Girl don’t say those words to me. I’m about to fly a plane down under in more ways than one. I think when you fall in love with me, and we come home from a night of drinking; I’d want to dance on the bed with you to this song. This is the perfect song to drive to, and I can’t wait to do it on a Friday morning with the top down.  

Before we go any further, I guess I should tell you about me. I’m naturally a fish, so I’m “All In My Head,” and daydreaming all the time. What’s that? It’s the name of one of your tracks on your album!  Wow the theme of the song is deep. I guess you’ve been dreaming about someone like me, Missy, as I have you. I think I’m falling for you.

What the hell did you say? “Temporary Love” is not in my goddamned vocabulary. I can’t believe you would joyfully sing that about me. I know it’s a sweet moment, and you’re saying it’s not going to last, but I say it will dammit! I love the piano right now, but when you say, “The knives you’re throwing” to me; it makes my heart hurt. You can’t rollercoaster our love, in the same way this song rocks and rolls. I can’t believe it. Watch, next you’re going to tell me a deal-breaker, like you’re a vegetarian. YOU ARE A VEGITARIAN? I can’t believe you would do this to me. Yes, I know you were voted Sexiest Vegetarian. The only thing that should matter to you is that I think you’re sexy.  Fuck this, I need a drink, I’m headed over to a “Watering Hole.”

The pounding of the drums is like the pounding of the veins in my head that will equate a headache that I’ll have tomorrow. Sure Missy, we all want a “Watering hole in my head,” but some of us need to go to a real one that serve poisonous drinks, generally after someone says that they think you’re just going to be a temporary love. I still can’t get over it, and how the magical moment was for you in your head.  Sometimes you’re too dark too understand, but I get the fact that we all have demons. Yes, I know you need sleep. Fine, fine. Let’s get you some rest.

No, no, I am not pulling any “Tricks.” You sound really tired in this song for putting up that fight you mentioned earlier in the album. No bother, the hook has me hooked. Maybe the words really are, but you still ask, “Why don’t they work on you?” They do Missy, they do. Wait, are you trying to trick me? I really would prefer you to be honest.

"If I’m Honest,” you should really be so as well Missy. This country style vibe of a song doesn’t have me, but your words do. When you call me darling, and say, “no one touches me like you used to,” I’ll tell you that I’ll do it again.  I’ll find you even if you travel to India again, or the world like you did before you made this album. Wait, what the fuck? Wayward Golden Hair? WHO ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? WHAT’S HIS NAME AND SOCIAL SECURITY NUMBER? Do you have that in Australia? Man, now I feel like I’m on fire. I can’t believe you cheated on me with some Prince Charming with pretty, blonde hair.

There can be no, “Cooling of the Embers.” Right now. Yes, your piano in the intro of the track just pulls me in. and your simple sounds beneath your words are pulling me in more. I know, I talk blind often, but you have to see I’m right in front of you being real, and I’m offended when you say, “You’re only half here.” I’m here, fighting the good fight. I am still strong, and I still, “never wanted help from no one.” I guess this really is the cooling of the embers, you don’t have to keep asking me that. Oh, that’s the hook, my bad.

Your trip to stardom and selling millions of records from being found in a competition really does make you one of the “Hidden Ones” Missy. And your amazing musical delivery in this song, not that the rest of the songs don’t carry the same quality, will always want me to keep running back to you. Your music is damned close to country to me, but I’ll place you right next to my Sade, Brandi Carlile, and the slightly departed (but your neighbor) Ladyhawke.

You took me on a rollercoaster called The Ol’ Razzle Dazzle Missy, and I didn’t even hit all of it, pun intended. Your sweet words and great music background has me desiring to fall asleep to your words, your melody and your soul. I guess I’ll see you in my dreams, where you’ll be saying random things in an Aussie accent and you’ll be eating a steak. Because you’re far, far away and we choose to fall in love with that which, in a way, does not exist.



The Ol' Razzle Dazzle
is out now. Buy it here on Amazon .

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