Ke$ha – [Album]

Friday, 25 March 2011

Waking up not being able to account for a few hours of your life due to intoxication next to a girl who’s name you can’t remember. Waking up in that state can amount to one of the longest, most awkward moments of your life and this is the visualization I get when I think of Ke$ha (Side note: the dollar sign is the most childish, white-trash, classless thing I have ever seen in my life), partially because I Am the Dance Commander + I Command You To Dance: The Remix Album is the longest lame title ever. It’s hard to know if calling this album Ke$ha's third release would be accurate or if it's really owned by the record label due to the fact that her first and second albums might not have sold enough to make them happy. Regardless of the album's ownership or reasoning though, releasing the album was a great decision, because I am the Dance Commander + I Command You to Dance: The Remix Album is by far the best record released under Ke$ha’s name.

To put my reasoning into context, her first album had the original “TiK ToK” but not much else and the second album really felt like the tracks that didn’t make the cut from the first album – but this third remix album is actually something I recommend you to own. Seriously. Take me seriously. I’m not kidding. Give it a try. Support corporate America!

Wait – did I give anything away? Ke$ha’s music does feel like the production of a record label more than the production of an artist. In all honesty, we’ve come to a point where I feel like it might be possible to make a hit by completing a mathematical equation. You can place any girl in front of an amazing producer and you’ll sell millions. Millions! I think that says more about society, but we’re not here to discuss that –  we’re here to talk about music.

And we start with being “blow”n away by the first track. Cirkut's remix of “Blow” slays the original. No offense to Dr. Luke (Lukasz Gottwald) who can boast production credit on the longest list of well-known-artists that I have ever seen. I will tell you now, if you’re in the club, you will not catch the gangsters throwing up their hands in disgust when this song comes on. In fact, you may catch them popping a pill and sticking a pacifier in their mouth.

We'll bypass the Andre 3000-assisted “Sleazy Remix” (it's pretty worthless) and jump straight to “TiK ToK [Untold Remix].” We’re on this one, because this is what we know our dear Ke$ha for. She broke out into the world in 2009 with this track. You may find this song to be amazing, but don’t say this is “the best one” or even “the best mix” just yet. We’ve got “TiK ToK [Chuck Buckett's Veruca Salt Remix]” as track nine on this remix album. If I were to line both of these tracks in a bar fight, they would both throw one punch, cry, hug each other and then make out with the original track. What can I say? All three of them wake up brushing their teeth with a bottle of jack. Plus you must know that this track had help from Benny Blanco, who I am an incredibly huge fan of, and is probably the reason why Ke$ha has a career to date.

There is one track on this album that has not been released on the previous albums Animal and Cannibal. “F**k Him He’s a DJ” is almost as good as an original Britney Spears track, only with more white-trash. Hell, you can hate on that all you want, but this track is fun. I’d do a shot of Patron to this. I guess it should be Popov, seeing as this is a Ke$ha track we’re talking about. If you already own both of Ke$ha’s albums for her true artistic abilities, you only need to buy this one track but if you’re a fan of music (which means you most assuredly don’t own the first two albums), you can own this one. It’s more about the beat than it is about Ke$ha. Not that she has a huge say in any of her music, but I am the Dance Commander + I Command You to Dance: The Remix Album is a rock solid DJ own-able album for the dance floor, or designated-driver album for the guy driving a bunch of drunk girls around. They will be impressed by this purchase. But you will still not get laid. Just letting you know in advance.



I am the Dance Commander + I Command You to Dance: The Remix Album is out now. Buy it here on Amazon .

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