Hey Junkie!
Kay, so I gotta joke fo' ya: What's green, four hundrit yards long an' might make ya cry? Ya wanna know? Dis week's SWAG Report – at's what. Yeah, i's not funny, but the ream o' stuff I came by this week ain't funny either; dis week, I gotta double shot o' what I normally got – not thirty, but SEVENTY bits o' ill-gotten gains – ta… wha's Fi' dollar Billy say? “Submit fer yer approval.”
There ain't nothin' lame here either – you junkies what get high on punk're gonna need ta check yer shorts when ya see the haul I nabbed. Inn'ere, I got some new (an' new ta you) songs from The Flatliners, The Riverboat Gamblers, Blacklist Royals, Ataris, Swellers, Wandas annabuncha other skinny, spiky-headed tunes fer you ta swipe. It's friggin' gorgeous! I dunno if ya c'n call 'em the new breed o' punk, butcha c'n sure as hell call 'em 'the good breed.'
On toppa dat, I didn't ferget aboutchu junkies what like a slightly more aggressive high. I nabbed the new teaser tune from Thrice's new reckid 'at ain't even come outchet an' threw it innere, an' a new song from dose right thinkin' boys in We Are The Union.
I know whatcher thinkin' – yer thinkin', “Well gee Don, you grabbed all this stuff for the punk rocking kids and just two for us? That isn't right, and–”
Quitcher bellyachin' ya weaselly little metalheaded junkies! Ya usually get lots, so's we're givin' somebody else a turn awright? Alla dat's lead-up ta dis week's crown jewel anyways: da new tune from The Headstones. Dis is da only band I'll ever admit ta havin' Fi' dollar Billy turn me onto; back inna Nineties, they were the only band in Canada ta play it hard, play it fast an' never make any apologies fer it, annit wis good! While other bands like Our Lady Peace, The Tragically Hip an' Moist (I dunno why I know these names – Fi' dollar Billy tol' me about 'em) was singin' 'bout holdin' yer hand, watchin' you drown, watchin' you scream cause no one's around an' jus' generally bein' all sad sacky an' 'emotionally articulated' The Headstones were singin' about things which really matter: spikin' a vein, causin' a ruckus an' really playin' the angles ta get people movin'.
Didja know this column's named afta da note they useta keep onn'ere merch table at shows? Da note read, “Stolen Without A Gun.' Everybody knows what SWAG is short for, but that was 'the inspiration' fo' dis li'l venture.
The Headstones took a buncha time off so ther singer could be a Hollywood big shot fer a while, but ther back! Ann'ey got jus' one new song ta start, an' I got it 'ere! Don' ask how,but I gottit, ann'it's really fuckin' good! Like fine wine or jus' da right edge o' Redrum, it'll cure all yer ills, so start there junkie, getcher fix ann'en get onna rest o' this!
Love & sloppy kisses,
yr. ever-lovin' Don Loder.
A Wilhelm Scream – “Fun Time”
Automatic Loveletter – “Carry The Fire”
Automatic Loveletter – “Save Me”
Blacklist Royals – “California”
Bomb The Music Industry – “Matchless Considerable Weirdness, The B48 Home”
Carpenter – “Northern Exposure”
Cheap Girls – “Her And Cigarettes”
Cheap Girls – “Something That I Need”
Coffee Project – “Big Trouble In Little Gainesville”
Cut Off Your Hands – “Drones Over Brooklyn”
Cut Off Your Hands – “Hollowed Out”
Dave Hause – “C'mon Kid”
Dear Landlord – “A Little Left”
Deer Tick – “Miss K”
Eric Sarmiento – “These Little Winters”
Farewell Continental – “New Tile Floor”
Farewell Continental – “Seasoned Veterans”
Grace Potter – “One Short Night”
Greenland Is Melting – “The Last Song”
Guadalupe Plata – self-titled album
Have Nots – “Anywhre But Here”
Have Nots – “The Brink”
Hellmouth – “Amen, Assholes”
Icarus Himself – “On Your Side”
Jon Gaunt – “War Paint”
Jon Snodgrass & Friends – “Campaign Song '93”
Jon Spencer Blues Explosion – “Ghetto Mom”
Junior Battles – “Alternate 1985”
Junior Battles – “Living In The Future of Feelings/No Plan”
Landmines – “Beer For Blood”
Leroy Miller – “Don't Make Me Beg”
Madison Bloodbath – “Sail In, Stumble Out”
Make Do And Mend – “Unknowingly Strong”
Mikey Erg – “Key Of C – Fix It, Fix It, Stop”
Milagres – “Glowing Mouth”
Panda Bear – “Jetty”
Piney Gir Country Roadshow – “Lucky Me”
Piney Gir Country Roadshow – “The Sheriff Of San Miguel”
Protagonist – “Tunbridge”
Red City Radio – “Drinking Ourselves Into The Future”
Reverse The Curse – Hither And Yon
Reverse The Curse – “Northwind & The Sun”
Reverse The Curse – “Suplex Condenser Dispenser”
Riverboat Gamblers – “Maggie Lea”
Rust Belt Lights – “Awake In Dreams”
Shook Ones – “Silverfish”
Soley – “I'll Drown”
Spanish Gamble – “It's All Coming Down”
The Arteries – “No Place Like Home”
The Ataris – “All Soul's Day”
The Clap – “Lucy 2”
The Dopamines – “Douglas Bubbletrouser”
The Flatliners – “Run Like Hell”
The Gamits – “Falling Apart”
The Headstones – “Binthiswayforyears”
The Riot Before – “Back Stage Room”
The Swellers – “Feet First”
The Wandas – “Do Or Die”
The Wandas – “Forever And Ever”
Thrice – “Yellow Belly”
Tidelands – “Marigolds”
We Are The Union – “Rearranging Deck Chairs On The Titanic”
