Verbally Viewing Various Videos (Q-V) – Vol. 7 – Bulimia Battle

Thursday, 05 February 2009

I was on the hunt for a great video to review and ran into Robyn’s “Cobrastyle.” I love this cover from the Teddybears. The original and this cover are on two different playing fields. I noticed there was a full production music video and I was like, “OMG! Awesome, let’s do this.” So I watched it twice. In the first few seconds she’s spitting out blue stuff, and I honestly thought, “Wait I’ve seen this before.” Then I recalled an ultra throw-up music video that I saw in the past that seriously made me happy/ill/awesome/sexy/suicidal all in the same moment. It was legendary but I didn’t do a review of it at the time because it was a re-make of a video they felt wasn’t as good. I was offended for the reason that the original video was awesome. The video was Simian Mobile Disco’s “Hustler.” I finally hunted it down and set forth a new article for us at Ground Control: A Throw Up Battle of the Bands. And these videos are the closest thing I have to that. Let the yack-battle begin baby.

Robyn has the good looks and the history with me. We remember her from songs in the past like “Show Me Love” in 1993. There’s something about her new albino style and her cute-anger dance in the video that I find to be completely hot. Sure the song is a cover, but the beat is catchy and the all-white totally got me for a second. Plus she starts with the reverse puke of liquefied blue man group. They begin to bounce between the blue yack shot and the cliché close up headshot. Then they jump straight into an all-white room, which is ripe for some vicious colorful action. If you don’t know Robyn, the video will tell you a few things: she’s got a hair cut that you won’t forget or maybe even agree with, and also that Robyn looks really short. Some other things you might want to know about this artist is that she’s actually Swedish and been around since 1991. If you don’t know her, her career started in 1991 when she was 13 and did the theme song for the Swedish show Lilla Sportspegeln, named Du kan alltid bli nummer ett. I grew up on that show and had no idea it was her! The music video really isn’t focused on throwing up, which is a disappointment from that perspective. But when they start spraying and throwing paint and powder around the set the music video actually turns out to be extremely fun. Don’t mind the words of the song; just bust a move to the chorus which is what will stick with you for hours. I would have to say, having the artist throw up, get painted on and powdered-harshly and still come out sexy is quite an achievement for the director.

Simian Mobile Disco on the other hand went all out when it comes to throwing up. When it comes to the yacking part of the battle, Simian Mobile Disco is the like World’s Strong Man Competition winner and Robyn is Richard Simmons. Mind you, I hated to state that because I’d make out with Robyn, and would punch Richard Simmons in the face. Simian Mobile Disco is someone that’s been in the masses here in the USA. We’ve heard of them, bumped them, and now can watch a replacement to a track we’ve heard not only on their album but many other mix albums. This video cranks up the sexy in the beginning of the video. Beyond the hotness of women, they show us hot women and food we’ve all come to love. The scene isn’t the one that I’m use to, but if you get the big picture of the video playing on the fakeness of what we get from the hip-hop or pop music scene. The food begins to grow from the beginning of just French fries, to Twinkies, ho-hos, fried chicken, pasta and others. The hot girls eating and playing with the food was a little appealing but then gets cranked up to the absurd amount that I couldn’t handle it. Being a guy who can put massive amounts of food away I am probably one of the few people who would have known what was about to happen when the screen went white. I didn’t call that when we come back from the fade out that the girls would have an ugly face. The director had to be a fan of Aphex Twin when they pulled this off. We’re talking massive teeth and face issues. When they start having back issues and sticking their fingers down their throat I totally know what’s coming. Yack session, bring it on baby. The first girl to throw up is the one in blue, throwing up blue liquid. I found that quite fitting because that’s the first throw up color in Robyn’s video. Then, each girl had her own color to throw up with. I honestly think this would make an awesome Skittles commercial.

Well let’s compare:
Who was throwing up better?
I think all the girls in both videos put great effort in their throw up. To judge them on this would be just rude.

Who Throws up More?
Simian Mobile Disco hands down. Four times the action, four times the rainbow.

Whose throw up is sexier? Robyn. You can’t even compare her to the girls in the second video who are throwing up.

Who’s set best fit the video? If Robyn had a colored background it would have failed. If SMD had a normal set, the girls would feel out of place. I think any set other then what was supplied would give the videos a sore point.

I guess that sums up this battle. The winner is women when it comes to throwing up.

Robyn – “Cobrastyle” – [Video]
Simian Mobile Disco – “Hustler” – [Video]


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